So, on one of the many message boards I go to there is a forum called “The Bucket List” – and like the movie its an area for making lists of things we want to do before we die. Unfortunatly, I think my list is getting longer and not smaller. And I can’t help but wonder – will I be able to even do 10% of what I have on there? I can’t help and not have the confidence that I will do it. The worse thing, is it keeps growing when I watch tv or talk to people. What is my list? Here it is – at this moment in time:
Some of them kinda dumb but I am not sure. I am definatly sure that do most of the things on my list I need to be extremely rich and/or rich & famous.
But the biggest item on my list is to write a book… and maybe another. And there are ideas I do have for writing a book but my brain doesn’t seem to want to help me put it on paper. I have ideas flowing and then when I sit down to write something my mind goes blank. I can’t remember for the life of me what I want or had in my mind. Yes, I know I should write it down when it comes to my mind. Its hard to do that when you are driving a car or working with a customer or on a treadmill. I really want to write something. And something successful… no one wants to be the writer who writes a novel that no one wants to read. Right? But we will see… maybe my creativity fallout will dissipate soon enough and I can move along on this list finally!
I can’t help but wonder – am I being too over the top with my wants and desires for my life? Am I setting myself up disaster? I guess this is the hardest part of being a pessimist. I know I can’t be over the top for wanting the things I want in life. Kinda dumb for me to think I don’t deserve to be happy… hard not to when strangers come into your life and make you feel you aren’t worth anything.