So, on one of the many message boards I go to there is a forum called “The Bucket List” – and like the movie its an area for making lists of things we want to do before we die. Unfortunatly, I think my list is getting longer and not smaller. And I can’t help but wonder – will I be able to even do 10% of what I have on there? I can’t help and not have the confidence that I will do it. The worse thing, is it keeps growing when I watch tv or talk to people. What is my list? Here it is – at this moment in time:
Some of them kinda dumb but I am not sure. I am definatly sure that do most of the things on my list I need to be extremely rich and/or rich & famous.
But the biggest item on my list is to write a book… and maybe another. And there are ideas I do have for writing a book but my brain doesn’t seem to want to help me put it on paper. I have ideas flowing and then when I sit down to write something my mind goes blank. I can’t remember for the life of me what I want or had in my mind. Yes, I know I should write it down when it comes to my mind. Its hard to do that when you are driving a car or working with a customer or on a treadmill. I really want to write something. And something successful… no one wants to be the writer who writes a novel that no one wants to read. Right? But we will see… maybe my creativity fallout will dissipate soon enough and I can move along on this list finally!
I can’t help but wonder – am I being too over the top with my wants and desires for my life? Am I setting myself up disaster? I guess this is the hardest part of being a pessimist. I know I can’t be over the top for wanting the things I want in life. Kinda dumb for me to think I don’t deserve to be happy… hard not to when strangers come into your life and make you feel you aren’t worth anything.
One thought on “creativity fallout”
You know what you need, varza? Other than a nice fat check that’ll help accomplish all of this? Is a ghost-writer. Or not even that. Just someone to help you write. I’ve always wanted to write, but I can never gather enough of my thoughts to do it…