Soooo… its been a few weeks…

But, I am alive and somewhat well just hella busy with school, work and all that other crap that takes up like called: Darth Real Life. I have also been in kind of a funk. The stress of everything is getting to me and I have no real desire to do anything. Not even to count how the stress is affecting my diet… which is sucking the big one for the past few weeks. I am a stress eater… and I am lacking funds for healthy good foods so I am eating crap I shouldn’t be eating. And probably drinking too many protein shakes then are good for me.

I just want a week away from it all but my funds are so bad lately its really sad. My mortgage also went up and I am desperatly trying to find a way to refinance right now without any luck. I keep being told I have to come up with large down payments… if I had 5 grand in the bank do you really think I would need to refinance? Seriously… And its not my actual mortgage its the frakking property taxes that keep going up each year and upping my monthly payment. Right now I am paying almost 300 bucks a month into my escrow account that my mortgage company pays my taxes, insurance and all that other crap out of.

So, I will be hopefully making some more calls today and see if I can get into that program out there. I don’t regret buying my home. I love my home but I should of taken the 500 dollar loss and bought the townhouse I had been looking at. Smaller and was about 50 grand cheaper.

Just a tip for home buyers – your first year taxes are not permant rates. They will go up several hundred within a year or two. At least here in New Mexico. They didn’t tell me that when I bought my home, imagine my surprise when one month my payment was 800 and the next month 1,000. Not fun at all!

As for my diet and workout – I am stuck at anothe plateau and have been there for over a month now. I know part of it is my diet. part if my decreased cardio and part stress. I am tired of feeling defeated by trying to loose weight and not succeeding. I am still struggling over wanting to quit but I have to wait until when I get paid again but I need to quit “cheating” on my diet and just do it. In last months Oxygen there was an article on loosing 10lbs in a month. I think I am going to jumpstart my system with it starting next week after paying my bills. Its a hardcore diet and I will have to cut back majorily on my workouts so I don’t burn myself out. But with school ending in a few weeks, I think that the time I have to destress from classes before the next round is the best bet.

I need to do something I think and this is the only thing I can think of. Get rid of 10# and then go from there. This will also jumpstart me back onto the healthy regiment and hopefully get me off of the roller coaster of bad crap. And then afterwards I can start on the diet a friend gave me but we will see.

Speaking of school, only a few more weeks left. I have an A in my history class and a high C in my english class. I have a research paper due in both of them on Monday and I have been working on them. But probably not like I should be. Then again, I have always pressured myself to wait until the last minute on most of my papers. Always have… tried to change that and always start out early then meh. Just sit there staring at my moniter for hours on end.

But I just paid for the summer session with school, taking Anatomy & Physiology with a lab. Three days of classes. I was going to add on an algerbra class but decided against it. Its going to be hard enough especially since my nephew is in town again this summer. I will have to take it in the fall… I hate math with all my might. Seriously seriously hate it and wish I didn’t have to take it.

I did finally sign up for finanical aid for next year. Hopefully I will get it so I can have one less stress on my wallet. But I won’t know until the summer, I think. I haven’t heard anything from the school. Just the gov saying its been accepted and the info given to the school. They will let me know if I have been granted a grant. Wish me luck. I really need it. School is just too dang expensive – inexpensive but still. When you are living paycheck to paycheck… anything is alot on your budget.

AS for a major – still nothing. One of my friends said I should be a scholar and do religious/mythological studies. Since I already know a bunch and since I already read things then retell it in my own words – I am already being one. I find it funny… me a scholar? I barely graduated high school. But he thinks I would be really good with it. That I would be excellent at going around giving lectures and whatnot. Personally, I think it would be great but dang that would take me forever! But maybe… I will put it on the list.

I have had no time to even look for romance – incase you were wondering. I am trying to do the whole meet new people but everything costs money to do… and I save that for hanging out with people I already know. And I don’t get to do that often enough. I am starting to notice more and more guys around. Maybe my gym had a run of hot guys sign up at the gym – even though some of them have been around for awhile but I am just now noticing their cuteness since my crush has disappated.

So, I am keeping my eye open and making myself smile more if I see them smile at me, so we will see what happens. But I am pretty sure a guy was checking me out at the grocery store the other day… but hard to say… made eye contact a few times and he smiled. But then again – have had that happen before and it was just a guy being nice.

Okay, I think this is long enough… I will post my workouts from the past few weeks in the next day or so…

Also – I am on twitter… addicted to the damn thing I think: http://twitter.com/varza

Just Another Day

Its another Friday and as per usual I am stuck at work. Its been a crazy week… really really crazy week.

I got my last paper back from my teacher in my Analytical Writing class… 98. I really have no clue how I am getting these grades. I never got grades like this back in the day. I know I talk about it alot but I am surprised. I was an below average student. I graduated high school with barely a 2.5 gpa and my only college choice was the local community college. Which I did a semester in before quitting.

Lets see what else… my past week was stressful for health concerns. I found a lump in my breast last week – after waiting a few days before calling the doctors to make sure it wasn’t just a swollen gland. But luckily, after going to the docs and my first ever mammogram – I am clean and cancer free. What it is is a cystic fiber – something or another. Basically a bunch of fibers that formed a cyst that will go away with lack of caffeine. And I have been drinking a lot of caffeine lately – which helps make these little buggers. But I didn’t tell the world until now because I didn’t want to have to contact everyone and say – hey I found a lump and then a week later say – oh it was nothing but a stupid cyst. But in truth, its still scary. I was stressed to the max and my mom tried to console me but it doesn’t always help. I just wanted to know.

I sold my kilt – it had gotten to big for me… I am using some of the money to buy new t-shirts because most of mine are now also too big for me. I can wear a large now – its tight and fitted but I think it looks good. I don’t really know. Guess I will find out when I get it in. I mean, I can’t buy babydolls yet but I prefer the mens style shirts anyways. Oh and the rest is to pay bills off… I always have bills to pay off.

My workouts have been kinda blah… I took Monday and Thursday off and part of me does not want to go to the gym tonight but just go to the movies right after work instead. But I will go and do something. I have no idea what but I have to do something. I am down another lb this week though. So, yeah! But psychologically I am utterly beat and don’t want to think about anything. But if I go today I can take Sunday off…

With work, stress about school, trying to find money for school and everything else – I just need to escape. And even though I love my Sims 2 – its just not doing it right now. I recently started playing again just to get away from my real world and into a fake world where I can control everything and give my fake people lots and lots of fake mulla and build them big houses!

But I got notice that my day for class sign up for the summer is coming up. I figured out which classes I am going to take during the summer session – a science and lab. We will see if I get into the anatomy and physiology class like I want to. I do need to spend sometime this weekend appliying for finanical aid and hope to the gods that I actually get it. I am afraid I may make too much and they don’t take into account that I have a hellasious mortgage but as always, we will just have to see.

I have some other things I want to talk about but will do that another day… I need to eat lunch.

Workouts this week – as per usually the m stands for minutes, # for pounds:

3-21-09, Saturday

Warm Up
10m – Treadmill, Interval Inclines, 2.5mph

Toning
3 x 15 @ 40# – Rear Delt
3 x 15 @ 60# – Fly
3 x 15 @ 125/120/115 – Hip Abductions
3 x 15 @ 125/120/115 – Hip Adductions

Cardio
25m – Elliptical Crossramp, Glute Trainer, Resistance 8

3-22-09, Sunday

Warm Up
10m – Treadmill, 3.8mph, Intervals
Stretching

Round 1
10 @ 40# + bar – Smith Machine Squats
10 @ 10# + bar – Laying Chest Press (free weights)
10 @ 180# counterweight – Chin Ups
10 @ 10# dumbbells – should press
30 – crunches w/ legs on stability ball and bicycle move
5m – treadmill, random inclines, 4.0mph

Round 2
10 @ 40# + bar – Smith Machine Squats
10 @ 10# + bar – Laying Chest Press (free weights)
10 @ 180# counterweight – Chin Ups
10 @ 10# dumbbells – lat raises
25 – jack knifes w/ 6# medicine ball
5m – treadmill, rolling hills, 4.0mph

Round 3
10 @ 50# + bar – Smith Machine Squats
10 @ 10# + bar – Laying Chest Press (free weights)
10 @ 180# counterweight – Chin Ups
30 – crunches w/ legs on stability ball and bicycle move
5m – treadmill, random inclines, 4.0mph

Round 4
10 @ 50# + bar – Smith Machine Squats
10 @ 10# +bar – Laying Chest Press (free weights)
10 @ 180# counterweight – Chin Ups
10 @ 10# dumbbells – lat raises
25 – jack knifes w/ 6# medicine ball
5m – treadmill, random inclines, 4.0mph

Round 5
10 @ 50# + bar – Smith Machine Squats
10 @ 10# + bar – Laying Chest Press (free weights)
10 @ 180# counterweight – Chin Ups
10 @ 10# dumbbells – should press
30 – crunches w/ legs on stability ball and bicycle move
15m – treadmill, intervals inclines, 3.5mph

3-24-09, Tuesday

20m – Elliptical Crossramp, Intervals, Resistance 8
Stretching
1 x 15 @ 55# – Leg Extensions
3 x 15 @ 55# – Leg Curls
3 x 15 @ 80# – Calf Machine
10m – Elliptical, Hill Intervals

yeah I know its really short but oh well, it was a long day. I had to go for some testing early yesturday morning and I was just beat.  This was the day I went for the mam.

3-25-09, Wednesday

Warm Up
10m – Treadmill, 3.5mph, Incline 5
Stretching

Workout
4 x 10 @ 60# – Smith Squats
4 x 12 @ bar only – underhanded row – freeweights
4 x 12 @ 10# weights – lat raises
1 x 15 @ 190# counterweight – chin ups
3 x 10 @ 190# counterweight – chin ups
4 x 12 @ 15# dumbbells – stability ball chest press
4 x 10 @ 20# barbell – curls
4 x 20 sec – curls
10 sec rest between each 20sec rep
4 x 20 sec – reverse crunches
10 sec rest between each 20sec rep

3-16-09 Workout and School Crap

Hip is okay. Talked to my trainer – its just because the muscle is inflamed and swollen. So, I am not going to do any running until I can go a day of walking and it doesn’t cramp on me. I am going to put some ice on it now cause its burning a bit but in a good way. I did a lot of cardio. Well, a good amount not a ton. Trying to keep my workouts to around an hour like the article that my friend marc posted about muscle catabolism that suggested this is what I should do. It has really been helping doing that. I am less drained and stressed on time.

Workout
20min- Treadmill, 3.4mph, Random Inclines
Stretching

2 x 25 – Crunches on Stability Ball
2 x 5 – Wipers (I drop my legs to the floor on these unlike the guy on the video)
2 x 5 – Leg Lifts (but I move my legs down more slowly then the video)

5mins – Stair Stepper

30mins – Treadmill, 3.5 & 4.0 (15m each), Hills

I also got back my Western Civilization take home test today and got a 95 our of a 100! 25 points (perfect score) on the definitions and 70 out of 75 on the essay! I was shocked to say the least, I never got grades like this growing up and I was sitting there the whole time waiting to get it back thinking that I defiantly failed the essay part. Imagine my shock when my teacher said, “and this is the other person you should be upset with for messing up the curve!” It was me and one other guy. I was like… damn, I never messed up anything like that in my life! I am a smart girl, I really am!

It Almost Made Me Cry

Okay, I had something happen to me earlier this week that almost made me cry… but it defiantly made me extremely sad.

In my English class we were discussing the story “Rip Van Winkle” and the teacher separated us into groups to break down the story and the group I got was Setting. Why was Rip Van Winkle set where it was, when it was and why? Easy right… Ha!

We started with when Rip Van Winkle was set and we knew that he basically slept thru the beginning of the Revolutionary War. So, I figured it would be easy to answer that. He woke up at the beginning and he was asleep for 20 years. The first question asked “When was the revolutionary war?” I was a bit stunned but more when someone else answer – 1825 right? Um, no… I asked to kinda guide my classmates – when was the declaration of independence signed because that was basically a bugger off to England. I got the response of blank stares and I don’t know.

Now this makes me sad because last week in my history class we discussed the 4th of July and when the teacher asked what it was a celebration of the girl sitting next to me answered: fireworks. She was serious.

Now why does this make me sad? Would it make you sad?! It does for me… Especially since these kids are straight out of high school pretty much and do not know when our Declaration of Independence was signed. I’m sorry but my 5 year old nephew knows this – I am pretty sure, he is a smart kid. But this is one of the most important day in our nations history. It is not a celebration of fireworks – which are a reminder of the war we fought.

It was like last year when I went to a baseball game for the 4th and when the national anthem was sung most of the people around me showed no respect. Kept their hats on and did not put their hands over their hearts, but they did for God Bless America. And they all sang that. No one sang the National Anthem and peoples kids were screaming.

Is this a sign that we are loosing something here in America when the next generation doesn’t seem to know American History? Are they learning it in school? Or is it just what I am seeing.

And it wasn’t just that… we were discussing New York and no one really knew that New York existed back that and how important it was to our nations history. Why base Rip Van Winkle outside of New York city in the mountains along the Hudson River? Maybe its cause I grew up for the first part of my life in New Jersey. It made common sense to me that we would know why that was an important area to base a story about someone sleeping thru the birth of our nation. But nothing is as bad as a lack of knowing when the Declaration of Independence was signed.

But it seriously did make me almost cry.

And the New Year Rolls On…

Sooooo…. I headed over to my school yesturday – CNM – and picked up my parking permit and got my money back for the class I dropped. I ended up dropping my Intro to Sociology because I am unsure if I can really handle three class right now with the problems at work and trying to continue keeping a focus on my workouts and weight loss. I can not, CAN NOT, take a chance that I will grow lazy in that department at all.

Back on topic, I ended up getting my permit and my money back (yeah money! I can eat!) as well as my student ID (yeah! it was free!) but didn’t get a chance to pick up my books like I wanted to. The line was hella long and we were told the store wouldn’t even open for another 30 – 40 minutes. So after a brief discussion with Lor (my wonderful wonderful friend who kindly said yes when asked to drive me around cause my car keys were in my moms purse, in Las Vegas), we decided to leave and head to target so I could buy kitty litter and Kohls – so I could buy new jeans (I’m in an 18!).  When we left we saw a nice set up of traffic going back towards the school. So in one fail swoop – we decided it was best to not worry about it.

Heck, I bought my book for my English class online and have it already to go. I have time between classes that I can run over to the bookstore and pick up my Western Civ book before that one starts.

Basically this will be my schedule for school:

  • Analytical Writing – M/W – 10:30am to 11:45am
  • Western Civilization I – M/W – 1:30pm to  2:45pm

I know it doesn’t seem fancy but I am looking forward to it. Especially the Western Civ class, I have two of the books we will be reading already in (ordered them thru work): The Prince by Machavelli and The Death of Socrates by Plato. Awesome books and can’t wait to read them! They are on my want to read list, so I am very excited.

Not much else is going on in my life. I am attempting to wear contacts again. I thought about it the other day, I think my eyes are probably one of my best features – if not the #1 best and prettiest thing about me – and I am always wearing those big clunky glasses where my eyes are hidden a majority of the time. So, out come the contacts. They are killing my eyes but I am forcing myself to keep going with them. I just need to go buy myself some drops since I am out of them, and some cheap sunglasses cause the sun hurts your eyes – you know that?

Thats pretty much it… I will have more later but I am trying to figure somethings out in my head. There is too much going on up there right now to be able to think clearly.

PS – I like pancakes and I am STARVING for them right now!