I found this great article about how the interwebs and women are changing the face of a good body image in the world for women. Great! I checked out some of the sites they talked about and then went from them to some of the blogs about having a good body image. And… they made me feel like shit for wanting to loose weight. They aren’t blogs about having a healthy body image at any weight. Its only having a healthy body image for fat chicks and being proud of it and screw trying to loose it because you will just fail. Screw em. I don’t like being fat, I hate it actually. I hate that I hide from cameras because I hate what I look like. I don’t enjoy having to spend more money on clothes. I don’t care if there are places for me to buy the right size clothing and that the fashion industry sucks ass. It always has and it always will. Duh! Welcome to America the home of you aren’t ever going to be good enough.

I watched a video one woman did and she just bagged on everyone who wasn’t big. What if someone wants to loose weight. The weight I am at I can’t even get health insurance because I am too much of a risk. She talked about living life to the fullest – but what happens when I can’t because my weight keeps me from doing things I want to do. I can’t even go horse backriding for force sake! Yeah! I am happy with how I am and never going to change.

If someone is happy being a bigger person I am happy for them. Good for them. But why should I force myself to love myself the way I am when I can change it and I’m not happy. I am disgusted with myself because I do not like the way I feel. And I don’t see a fat person in the mirror – I just don’t like feeling rolls on my body. I don’t like that I can’t go on a simple hike because I can’t keep my breathe. I want to be who I am not who someone thinks I should stay.

Maybe some of those toughting a positive body image should think everyone should be where they are happy not just be fat and hate people who don’t want to be.