Dear Hollywood Movie Makers,
So… we have come to the end of another “stellar” year of movies! Can you read the sarcasm in that statement? If you didn’t … then at least you are now aware that it was a sarcastic comment. I am writing you to make a request, okay several request, for the coming movie making years. Why am I doing this? Mainly because I am tired of the same crap and getting bored of walking out of the theaters dissatisfied with what I shell out my hard-earned money for.
Request #1 Can you please quit over marketing your films! Especially the big blockbusters like Avatar and any number of big action flicks… especially when they end up being boring because we have already seen the entire movie in trailers, product tie ins, myspace advertisements, etc. I am giving you money to already see a movie that I know all the big parts in? If your movie is really good it will sell itself. I want to see a movie in whole and not be tired of it before it is even out on the screen. This weakens my desire (and others that I know of) to even go see the movie yet alone enjoy it. I can understand that for some producers out there – they may not give a shit whether I enjoy the film as long as you get my money. This lets the world know that you are not movie makers but just cash cows. You don’t care about the film itself or the quality just that you get money to line your pockets. I know many of you learned that market tie ins like shampoo with movie characters on them et al at the altar of George Lucas (I do adore his films, well except for Howard the Dock, but he is the king of product tie-ins IMHO) it gets boring and take away from the magic of the movie itself.
Request #2 Throwing big names together in a romantic comedy does not a hit make. One of the worst rom-coms of the year was “The Ugly Truth” which made me feel that who ever cast it just looked at two actors they wanted and cast them. Not once having them meet in person and didn’t think of the chemistry that is needed to make a good rom-com. Richard Dreyfus and Nia Vardalos had more sexual chemistry. There were a few others over the years that were boring as hell for the same reason. On this note – while I love Amy Adams and she is the new Meg Ryan, please don’t over use her or she may lose her rom-com magic.
Request #3 Please get off the bandwagon of comic book movies – not every comic book needs to be made into a film. As we learned when we watched Daredevil and Elektra. And on that end of things – if you are going to make a movie from the comic quit screwing with the story and trying to make it more… more… more whatever the hell you call it when you mess up the storyline. And making new comics to tie into the movie so that your new cool storyline is now canon is idiotic. I went to see Wolverine to see the Wolverine story, instead of what I remember reading I got a whole new story of blah blah blah… AND! Too many villains means a bad movie. Come on! Spiderman 3 didn’t need 3 villains. Keep to one and focus on that damned story instead of a gazillion other ones and then we get BORED and confused and frustrated and want to write nasty letters online.
Request #4 When you translate a beloved book from the written word onto the screen please, please, please, please try to keep the soul of the book and/or story intact! Lord of the Rings is an amazing movie and they changed parts of it and moved things around but they KEPT the soul of the story alive which why the movies kicked ass and still do! Hire a writer or writers to translate the work who love the original work and don’t mess it up just to make their vision more important then the original.
Request #5 Take a lesson from the past, sometimes a simple story is better than a gigantic movie blockbuster… ie – Marty, made to be a tax right off and ended up winning oscars because it was a GOOD story!
Request #6 quit with the constant movie remakes! Yes, retelling the story of Dracula and the Wolfman over and over is good BUT retelling the story of Texas Chainsaw Massacre as a shot by shot remake… kinda boring. The original was good, it didn’t need to be remade. Oh and neither did Halloween with the whole new origin story. Nor do we need a remake of the following: Karate Kid, Bill & Ted, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Top Gun, etc etc etc… Star Trek did it well – told the beginning BUT with the twist of a new timeline then the original Star Trek so they can start all over again. And that movie showed that unknowns are sometimes better than getting a known actor for a lead. And taking chances – never thought Simon Pegg would be a perfect Scotty but he was! Oh, and I am still waiting for my remake of Clan of the Cave Bear… hello!? Sometimes the remakes are better but most of the time they are just pale imitations – like the Bad News Bears. Can you tell this is a sore point with me? Take a poll online and see how many people really want that remake of Nightmare on Elm Street?
Request #7 Please cut back on the number of movies you release and make better films instead. I only have so much time and money, as I am sure many others do, and would like to see more better films then a bunch of crap that I regret. Not every movie will be good just because you throw a bunch of money at it… most of the time it will still be crap.
Request #8 When you make zombie movies… can we have some realism please! Its zombieland! With 4 humans left roaming the US and they only come across a handful of zombies as they go from Texas to California? And let alone get to LA and there are only several dozens who attack the amusement park? In one of the most highly populated areas in the country?! Driving thru downtown LA and there are 2 or 3 zombies wandering around? Is this Zombieland or Zombie Small Town? Get James Gunn and throw money at him to write another zombie movie like Dawn of the Dead… now that was a GOOD zombie flick!
I could keep going but I have a life to lead and a plane to catch. Just please Hollywood… I miss good movies. I miss summers when there were multiple big blockbusters that were big not just because you sold it well but because the movie was actually good. I want real story tellers telling movies not just going where the money is… you have to look at some of the smaller budget or the miracle movies that made it big in years past. No body wanted to try to sell a movie about a farm boy on a distant planet but they took a chance and it paid out or believed in a movie like Marty was something anyone would want to see and it is still beloved today or that a 3 person film (including the director) that cost $11,000 would top the movies of the year or that a film school drop out from New Jersey would have a successful movie franchise because he made a movie he wanted to make or that … I could continue … I miss the Hollywood of Dreams and wish it was back instead of the Hollywood of Fads we seem to have today.
Or maybe I am completely alone on this?
I do want to add a quick thank you to those directors that follow their visions and go for it. Ignoring what may or may not be popular at the time but telling the stories they truly love for the sake of the story not the sake of just what comes into the box office. You make me continue to go to movies and hope for a better future of movies with souls like yours. I will not name names because people know who they are… You keep it alive. Thank you! This letter is not directed at you but those who only seem to care about the money.